Growth and maturation is such an interesting process to observe in ourselves individually but also in our communities and in the Church collectively. I recall that back in 2009 when I started my season of full-time ecclesial ministry in a parish, I was on fire to evangelise and try and make disciples of others while the culture of the Catholic Church at large was pretty muted about "speaking the name of Jesus" out loud - even to fellow Catholics! A young altar server leader in the parish I worked at had even asked me, "Why do you talk about Jesus so much? Why are you so excited about Jesus?"
Being on fire for Christ and wanting to share him with others was just not "the norm". But while my younger self was full of zeal and passion for Christ, I was completely unaware of certain spiritually abusive tendencies I exhibited because I had not yet embarked on my own healing and interior integration journey. It was where I was - and I am thankful that I am now able to hold my younger self with compassion and to forgive her her trespasses even as I repent and take accountability now.
Since 2009, the Catholic Church in my archdiocese has learned the lingo of "evangelisation and making disciples" and there are many more concerted attempts to bring people both young and old(er) through conversion retreats to encounter Christ in a personal way, and to disciple them in faith communities. However, even as these evangelising endeavours become more wide-spread, so too did spiritual harm perpuated in the name of making disciples. After I started embarking on my own integration journey and realising the harm I had done to others because of my own unhealed trauma, I began to notice just how common spiritually abusive dynamics were in highly motivated groups seeking to evangelise and make disciples of others.
After I started embarking on my own integration journey and realising the harm I had done to others because of my own unhealed trauma, I began to notice just how common spiritually abusive dynamics were in highly motivated groups seeking to evangelise and make disciples of others.
I believe we are entering a season of the universal Church where awakening to spiritual abuse will become more common. I believe that this awakening is tied to the deep hunger of sincere hearts who long to see the face of God and who struggle to accept that the God embodied in so many spiritually abusive structures and practices is the TRUE GOD - even as these very structures and practices seem at times inseparable from the Church as we know it.
I know that not everyone is ready or willing to think or talk about spiritual abuse, but the need is very great and that need always finds a way. It may only be in conversations that take place in the margins of religious spaces and in safe spaces where challenging questions and doubts about our religious culture and practices are welcomed and even encouraged for the sake of seeking Christ over loyalty to leaders and institutions, but these conversations ARE happening and will continue to happen. What may have started out as a trickle of water will someday become a gushing river that ceaselessly seeks to be reunited with the ocean of God's truth and love. I believe this in my bones even though I do not know how or when that transformation will take place and enter maturation.
It may only be in conversations that take place in the margins of religious spaces and in safe spaces where challenging questions and doubts about our religious culture and practices are welcomed and even encouraged for the sake of seeking Christ over loyalty to leaders and institutions, but these conversations ARE happening
What I do know is that those of us who seek wholeness and integration in our humanity and who desire authentic integrity in our relationship with God will have to be willing to look at the reality of spiritual abuse in our own lives and in the lives of our faith communities and the institutional church. This has to be part of our own ongoing conversion in the process of theosis - i.e. our own ongoing transformation into Christ through the grace of God.
Podcast / Video
In this episode, Paul Fahey joins me (once again!) in a pivotal conversation about spiritual abuse within the context of evangelisation and church communities. We examine the importance of truly loving others as Christ loves us and how our distorted images of God can impact our relationships and evangelisation efforts.
We address the often-overlooked emotional and psychological abuses by those in spiritual authority and discuss what a healthy use of authority should look like. We also delve into the critical role of personal integrity and humility for those in spiritual leadership. This episode offers crucial insights into the ways we can foster a more loving and respectful approach to faith, evangelisation and discipleship.
Recommended Reading
- "One Cannot Proclaim God in a Way Contrary to God Himself:
Spiritual Abuse and Evangelization" by Paul Fahey - "Abuses in Religious Life: An Interview with Sr. Theresa Aletheia" by the Sisters of the Little Way
The next run of Paul's Spiritual Abuse Workshop begins next week and there are still limited spaces available.
Paulā€™s next run of his Spiritual Abuse Workshop (online) starts next week and he has very kindly opened up a timing that is Tuesday 8pm in Singapore. Iā€™m so glad to hear from him that there are sign-ups from Singapore, Malaysia and the Philippines!
There are still a few spaces left in this workshop which I highly recommend for anyone who suspects they may have experienced spiritual abuse, believes they may have been complicit in spiritual abuse, and for any leader with spiritual influence and authority over others who wish to learn about this incredibly important topic.
If you have any queries about this workshop from the perspective of a participant, you can email me and I will be happy to answer your questions!
To learn more and register for this workshop CLICK HERE.
Journeying with you as always,
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