I have something precious to share with those who struggle with Holy Week: For those who get dysregulated during this week and do not understand why... for those who dissociate in order to get through the liturgy this week... for those who feel shame and guilt for not loving Holy Week or Easter as much as you have been taught you're "supposed to"... and for those who know that you struggle especially during Holy Week because of spiritual and religious trauma - well this sharing is for you.
I've recorded a bonus podcast and youtube episode to share with you - for the first time on these platforms - what I had felt a lot of shame about for many years because Holy Week was always something I needed to get through; because Holy Week was when I tried to force myself to feel gratitude and sorrow for Jesus's sacrifice, and because I always dissociated on Good Friday in order to make it through the service. Feeling this way caused me so much shame that it wasn't until I had undertaken my healing journey for some time that these things surfaced into my conscious awareness.
It was only in the last year four years that I learned the language of complex trauma, and that has given me the vocabulary with which to name and understand many of my experiences - including why I struggle with Holy Week. Last year I started learning more about spiritual and religious trauma in particular and it was only in the last few months that I developed a new vocabulary and understanding for spiritual abuse which swung the doors wide open for me in a new way to understand why my complex trauma is so intertwined with my relationship with God and my faith experiences as a Catholic.
Episode 151
In this special bonus episode for Holy Week, I share a deeply personal and vulnerable story about my journey through spiritual trauma and healing. I disclose the challenges I've faced and continue to face as a complex trauma survivor within the Catholic faith.
From experiencing physical symptoms of distress during Mass to grappling with deeply ingrained religious guilt, I invite you to witness my journey towards understanding, acceptance, and integration. I hope my story resonates with others who struggle with similar feelings during Holy Week, providing language, comfort, and a sense of solidarity.
Additionally, I offer practical suggestions for seeking support, emphasising the importance of trauma-informed care within spiritual and therapeutic frameworks. God meets us exactly where we are, and this episode is an invitation to take that first step towards healing.
Whether you are someone who is currently struggling with Holy Week or you're someone who genuinely wishes to understand what it is like for a Catholic complex trauma survivor who loves God to struggle this much with Church and Holy Week, I invite you to listen to EP 151 | Navigating Holy Week Through Spiritual Trauma and Healing.
Walking the Way of the Cross together with you and our Lord,
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